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Well heres the deal. I've been dating this girl for over 3 years. After a year and a half we had a child and got engaged. The whole time we were together she was the best that anyone can/has been to me. And I took her for granted the entire time. About a month ago I broke off the engagment because all we did was fight and I was too stupid to realise what I had. Now that I dont have her I know what I really had. I'm still trynig to get back with her. BUT shortly after we split up I went to a party with my friends and ended up sleeping with my ex. ex. gf. And my ex fiance found out about it. We still talk sometimes but she doesnt want me back because I've hurt her too many times. Does anyone have any idea's on how I can help get her back i'm tired of crying myself to sleep. This girl is my dream girl and I need her.
 

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I dont want to touch this w/ a 39 1/2ft pole:eek:

All I can say is good luck.
 

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Wow! That's rough.... Don't know what to tell you except try writing her a letter explaining your feelings for her and APOLOGIZING for being sooooo stupid for sleeping with your ex-ex-gf..and taking her for granted... Tell her how you have come to realize how much she means to you and how much you've hurt her and that your very sorry for it.... Keep us posted and GOOD LUCK!!!!!
 

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RiceGSgirL said:
I dont want to touch this w/ a 39 1/2ft pole:eek:

All I can say is good luck.
You got it! I am damned if I speak, and damned if I keep my mouth shut.....but I will catch less shit for keeping my mouth shut.

Keith
 

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Sorry to hear..... hope all turns out ok.



Just goes to show once again... "The Grass Is always Greener on the other side"
 

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Well, hmmm....
Sounds like an awful situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years so I guess I can kind of understand why your ex-fiance would be hurt that you slept with your ex-girlfriend.
One thing I would make really clear to her: why you slept with your ex. if it was because you were trying to get over your ex-fiance, that might be something your ex-fiance would want to hear. But I am not her. I think you are in a tight spot.
Another thing I would make really clear to her: that you have always loved her, and how much she means to you and how you want her in your life. You probably already told her all that though so....
Hmm...
I would definitely have someone show her this thread. I agree with who ever said that. Then she knows how important this is to you and how much you are hurting.
Is she seeing someone else? What is her status?
Try to stay optimistic about this though. You are "only human" and everyone makes mistakes. Don't push her too much, that could be pushing her away...
Most important too....always be there for you child, do whatever you have to do to make her see that she still needs you.
Another thing...even though she does not want to get back together with you now, give her more time, let her see you good side that she loved before and maybe just maybe she will be able to forgive you and get back together.
Well, that is enough of my babbling...good luck to you!
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Well I have told her how much she means and how I feel and I want to be a 'family man' and stop runnin with guys parting etc... She said she understands and she wants that but right now she cannot be with me. She said she wants her space. Which i'm giving her but i'm just so afraid she's going to meet someone else. We had a counselor for the last month or two and I broke it off before we went enough times. But i'm going to see him on mon. and because I just need someone to talk too (like you guys) but from a prof. point of view also. And she told me to sched. her an appointment also. And last night I couldnt sleep so I called her because she is usually up late also and we talked from 1:30 to 3:30. I didnt really try to talk about 'us' much because I dont want to push it. But maybe their is hope. I dunno.

edit.
The whole having a friend show her this thread is a good idea but none of her friends are into computers and she doesnt have one either. =[
 

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Were the 2 of you actually split up when you slept with your 'ex ex'? If you were, then she has no logical reason to be angry with you over that. If the 2 of you were not together, then sleeping with your 'ex ex' is not wrong (using that word very very lightly since I dont know your beliefs/feelings on premairtal sex). But knowing how a lot of women are, she will be mad about you sleeping with your 'ex ex'.

Aside from that, you really need to talk to her. You need to explain how many mistakes you made (breaking it off with her) and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to win her back. It is not going to be a walk in the park. In her mind, you arent taking the relationship serously and you break it off with her when you want to go get some tail (whether that is the truth or not, I dont know. That is just probably what she is thinking).

IMHO if you had a child with her, then it is your duty to be commited to her. You need to do whatever it takes to get back together with her and make as happy a future for your child as you can. If it just can't work betweeen the 2 of you anymore, then I dont know what to tell you.

The ball is in her court, and there may not be anything you can do to get her back.
 

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There is hope, in my humble opinion. It sounds to me like she is very willing to work through whatever problems you all were having. She must still have a lot of feelings for you if she can't be with you because of you sleeping with your ex-girlfriend. I think that she still wants to be with you, but remember that you broke up with her and that is scary for a girl! Especially when you have a child together. Can't keep putting the child in that situation either.
Maybe YOU could show her the thread!!! Is that a possibility?
:confused:
 

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I think you are doing just about all that you can do, the scheduling an appointment with the counsler for you and her is a good thing too, and the fact that she talked to you for 2 hourse last night is a good sign. the only thing i would add is to send her flowers or cards for just random things, like send her some flowers and jsut have the acrd say something like , happy wednesday, or a card that says have a great weekend, just little things to let her know that you care. I really hope it works out for you two.

Best of luck,
JAson
 

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What's done is done man. All you can do is let things roll.
If its meant to be then it's meant to be. If not, then it won't happen.
All you can do is tell her how you feel about her. Don't be that annoying guy begging for her back. It wont work.

Just bring her a single white rose, tell her you're sorry and that you love her and how your life is so incomplete and insignificant without her in it, and tell her you need her. But then tell her if you can't have her, then you suppose there's nothing else you can do. And walk away.
Let it be her choice. Don't try and manipulate her.

If she loves you she will come back to you.
How does that saying go....
"if she's yours, she will come back to you. If you lost her, she was never really yours."
 

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i think the fact that you're scheduling counselor appointments and that she is wanting you to schedule her in too is a definite good thing. i think that there is some hope for you two, you just have to keep showing her how much she means to you and explain about the whole sleeping with your ex situation. make sure she knows that you didn't break it off with her so you could fool around with someone else. other than that all i can say is good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Thanks alot guys/gals. You gave me some really good pointers and helped me see things from her point of view also. I may just print this thread out and give it to her.
 

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Here is a thought, do something romantic for her...like for the next 15 days give her something each day that makes her know that you love her, like flowers, candy, other sentimental things, like only things that you and her know about, just do something romatic....Ive done this plenty of times its really helped :)

Also, get married already, if u were married and not enganged then none of this would have happened correct? Do u guys live together? I never really got the point of being engaged....what is it, a practice marriage? If getting married means going to a courthouse and having a judge do it, then damnit! DO IT!

MIKe
 
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