Uhm where are we, oh yes, another instalment of the street racing chronicles of NONTRBO. Well being the day after thanksgiving I was trying to relax the whole day and for the most part I was trying not to have to do anything besides have sex with my wife and eat left over turkey. However, killing a british supercar on the freeway and making an old man hang his head in shame isn't exactly a bad way to end the day.
Well after a not so perfect thanksgiving, and me not have being able to drive my pride and joy in a week my thirst for speed was getting pretty bad, and so I decided to drive my wife to work today instead of let her drive my car for any possible adventure I might encouter along the way. Now, before you all ask why the hell you let a woman drive your car, let me tell you my wife is not a noob to racing people and its always fun to let her embarass some people in my car while riding shotgun ever so slightly intoxicated.
So as I begin the mundane commute, you know the one where slow people drive in the fast lane, stupid bitches cut you off and almost run you off the road for now reason, and the occasional "mall crawler" decides he needs to try and prove to his gf that he has a big dick by getting his POS 2wd lifted truck as close to my car as humanly possible to try and intimidate me. Ya it was one of those days. So as I am driving up the long stretch of road from the freeway to the mall to drop off my wife my car is running great. Too great to not make someone feel like they just spent an assload of money on a car for now reason whats o ever and they should now shoot themselves to avoid further embarassment.
As luck may have it as I am sitting at a stop light johnny ricer in his MaD TytE wrx rolls up and starts revving the piss out of his engine. I look over and see altezzas, a huge wing and rims that look like they came off of mc hammers civic hatchback(straight 80's yo!!). He's got his gf in the car and obviously must feel the need to impress her so that maybe she will suck his small peter when they get home, it was quite a sad sight I must say. Well seeing that I am not much for trying to race an awd car from a stop on my street tires, i'll just give this guy some bait and see if he goes for it. As he sits there throtling the shit out of his boxer like OJ did to nicole. I kindly show him what a stutter box sounds like at 5k. Needless to say he quited his shit down. Still I dump the clutch in first and my tires erupt in a cloud of smoke. He punches it as well but still can't manage to pull on me
. I let off and he smashes second gear and pulls maybe a car before he nearly runs into the back of a 7 series. I just laugh as my wife calls him an idiot and he gives me the thumbs down.
Still dissapointed that I have not ran into anything worthy of my time. I take the freeway to my parents house to meet up with a couple of my friends. As I enter the freeway I see the same DB9 that my buddy tries to race in his dads viper. Immediatly I know I must get this guy. I merge into traffic and just cruise slowly till a catch up to him. I must say the DB9 is easily one of the sexiest cars I have ever seen, especially in silver. I silently and slowly cruise up next to this guy like a tiger stalking his prey. Well they guy was aprently a bit jumpy because the instant I get next to him he tries to change lanes right into me. I move over to the lane next to me and his passanger mugs me like I did something wrong. The driver proceeds to show me all the his engine has to offer, the sound of the exhaust was like sex being played over a PA it was great. It also let me know he wanted some, I pull up next to him going about 80mph and third and give it a little gas to see if he's ready to go. At first it didn't seem like he wanted any but luck may have it that he finally punched it, and off we went.
He gains about a half car on me because he got the jump and that's about where he realized he should have never spent 160k on a car that is about to get demolished by a 4banger. The boost guage immediatly pegs 24psi and the race sudenly looks quite different. He stops pulling and as if he stepped on his brakes and I proceed to put car lenghts on him, all the while his passanger looks like this
. 80, 90, 100, 110, 120, and I decide to let off a good 6-7 cars ahead of him. I wonder if he has ever heard what an open wastegate sounds like at 8500rpm?? Adrenaline still pumping from teh kill he drives by and I give him the thumbs up, to my suprise he gave me the thumbs up as well. The passanger still looked like he had just seen Rosanne in the nude but that's to be expected.
This had to be one of the best feeling kills not because it is the fastest car I have raced but because its the first exotic I have raced yet. So that 2= NONTRBO, 0= the competition thus far. Untill next time.