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Elite DSMtalker
1,153 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
ok guys this may border on unacceptable so mods have at it if you think so. But i think the 2nd floor would enjoy this. This is an AIM convo i found from another board.

VictimX_26: Hi
Cheesedog: hello
Cheesedog: who is this?
VictimX_26: just a someone?
Cheesedog: A someone I know?
VictimX_26: nope
Cheesedog: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
VictimX_26: well sorrrrrry
VictimX_26: I just wanted to chat with you
Cheesedog: why?
VictimX_26: nevermind your an asshole
Cheesedog: Hey wait a minute
VictimX_26: yes?
Cheesedog: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
VictimX_26: paranoid?
Cheesedog: yes
VictimX_26: of what?
VictimX_26: me?
Cheesedog: No. I'm in hiding.
VictimX_26: LOL
Cheesedog: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Cheesedog: This shit is serious!
VictimX_26: What are you hiding from?
Cheesedog: The cops.
VictimX_26: gimme a fucking break
Cheesedog: I'm serious.
VictimX_26: I don't get it
Cheesedog: The cops are after me.
VictimX_26: For what?
Cheesedog: I'm wanted in three states
VictimX_26: For???
Cheesedog: It's kindof embarrasing.
Cheesedog: I had sex with a turkey.
Cheesedog: Hello?
VictimX_26: You are fucking sick.
Cheesedog: Send me your picture.
VictimX_26: why?
Cheesedog: so I know you aren't one of them.
VictimX_26: One of what?
Cheesedog: The cops.
VictimX_26: I'm not a cop i told you
Cheesedog: Then send me your picture.
VictimX_26: hold on
Cheesedog: Hurry up.
Cheesedog: Are you there?
Cheesedog: fuck you, cop!
VictimX_26: Hey sorry
VictimX_26: I had to do something for my mom.
Cheesedog: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Cheesedog: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Cheesedog: Weren't you!?
VictimX_26: thats not it
Cheesedog: Then what?
VictimX_26: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Cheesedog: Most cops aren't
Cheesedog: Then send me the picture.
VictimX_26: fine. What's your e-mail?
Cheesedog: Just send it through here.
VictimX_26: alright *PIC*
VictimX_26: Did you get it?
Cheesedog: Hold on. I'm looking.
VictimX_26: That was me back in may
VictimX_26: I've lost weight since then.
Cheesedog: I hope so
VictimX_26: what?!?
VictimX_26: that hurt my feelings.
Cheesedog: Did it?
VictimX_26: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Cheesedog: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
VictimX_26: yes
Cheesedog: Alright let me find it.
VictimX_26: kks
Cheesedog: Okay here it is. *PIC*
VictimX_26: this isn't you.
Cheesedog: I'll be damned if it ain't!
VictimX_26: You don't look like that.
Cheesedog: How the hell do you know?
VictimX_26: cause your profile has another picture.
Cheesedog: The profile pic is a fake.
Cheesedog: I use it to hide from the cops.
VictimX_26: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Cheesedog: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Cheesedog: Not to mention all the groceries.
VictimX_26: Go fuck yourself
Cheesedog: I was going to until I saw that picture
Cheesedog: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
VictimX_26: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
VictimX_26: You've done nothing but slam me.
VictimX_26: you hurt me.
Cheesedog: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
VictimX_26: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Cheesedog: Why would I do that?
VictimX_26: I can't believe that cops are after you
Cheesedog: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
VictimX_26: FUC YOU!!!
Cheesedog: You'd break both of his legs.
VictimX_26: You're a FUCKing asshole.
VictimX_26: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
VictimX_26: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Cheesedog: Ok. I'm sorry.
VictimX_26: No you aren't
Cheesedog: You're right. I'm not.
Cheesedog: HAARRRRR!
VictimX_26: I'm done with you
Cheesedog: Aww. I'm sorry.
VictimX_26: I'm putting you on ignore
Cheesedog: Wait a sec
Cheesedog: We got off on the wrong foot.
Cheesedog: Wanna start over?
VictimX_26: No
Cheesedog: I'll eat your pussy
VictimX_26: You'll what?
Cheesedog: You heard me.
Cheesedog: I said I'd eat your pussy.
VictimX_26: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Cheesedog: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
VictimX_26: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Cheesedog: Well I'm not like most men.
Cheesedog: I get excited in different ways.
VictimX_26: Like what?
Cheesedog: Do you really wanna know?
VictimX_26: I don't know
Cheesedog: You have to tell me yes or no.
VictimX_26: I'm afraid to
Cheesedog: Why?
VictimX_26: cause
Cheesedog: cause why?
VictimX_26: well lets see
VictimX_26: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
VictimX_26: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Cheesedog: Nope
VictimX_26: well its strange to me
Cheesedog: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
VictimX_26: I didn't say that
Cheesedog: So is that a yes?
VictimX_26: I guess so.
Cheesedog: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Cheesedog: Are you willing?
VictimX_26: What do you need me to do?
Cheesedog: I need you talk like a pirate.
VictimX_26: ???
Cheesedog: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Cheesedog: ok?
Cheesedog: Hello?
VictimX_26: You can't be serious
Cheesedog: Oh yes I am!
Cheesedog: It's my fantasy.
VictimX_26: this is retarded
Cheesedog: Do you want it or not?
VictimX_26: Yes I want it.
Cheesedog: Then you'll do it for me?
VictimX_26: sure
Cheesedog: Ok. Here we go.
Cheesedog: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Cheesedog: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Cheesedog: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Cheesedog: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
VictimX_26: mmmm yeah
Cheesedog: uh oh ...going limp.
VictimX_26: Har
Cheesedog: You gotta do better than that!
Cheesedog: Your picture was really bad.
Cheesedog: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Cheesedog: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Cheesedog: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Cheesedog: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
VictimX_26: mmmmmm you are good
Cheesedog: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Cheesedog: going limp
Cheesedog: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Cheesedog: You begin to sway back and forth.
Cheesedog: going limp
VictimX_26: this is stupid
Cheesedog: ...still limp
Cheesedog: Do it!
Cheesedog: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Cheesedog: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Cheesedog: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
VictimX_26: WTF?!?!?
Cheesedog: They stink really bad.
VictimX_26: OMG STOP!!!
Cheesedog: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Cheesedog: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Cheesedog: I ram it up your ass.
Cheesedog: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Cheesedog: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
Cheesedog: I kick you in the face!
Cheesedog: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Cheesedog: Your parrot flys away.
Cheesedog: ...going limp again.
Cheesedog: Hello?
Cheesedog: Say it!
Cheesedog: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
VictimX_26: <USER NOT FOUND>

1,770 Posts
I don't think I have laughed so hard before in my life.

222 Posts
LOL! Oh yeah...:happy:

Elite DSMtalker
1,495 Posts
LMFAO!!! hahaha

Elite DSMtalker
3,738 Posts

that's hilarious
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